New Pictures

Lithuanian Hospitality

Something of a cultural weekend. Windy and warm in Melbourne. I watched the first 3 installments of Die Hard, which I'd never seen. Loved them. All ready for number 4 now. Went to St Andrews' Market, bought food, flowers and a 3 dollar red t-shirt. Sunday walked to Camberwell market and scored a waistcoat for a buck. Walked home and felt a bit over it. After some fashion crises Charlie and I got it together to walk to North Melbourne to the Lithuanian Club where we planned to meet my exchange mate and experience some 'culture' in the form of an 'ethnic' celebration.
Unfortunately the dragon ladies at the door shooed us away as we were running late. So we missed our on hearing the 'comb' composition and queuing for pancakes. Instead we sat around the corner and drank and ate... Then headed to a Korean restaurant and ate and drank. K-beer, K-pancakes, K-style seating, K-TV. It was a cultural experience. Bought dessert from the K-konvenience store and walked home.

Would you sell your home to us?

A strange thing came through the letterbox yesterday...

Hillsong

Tumbi Umbi. Tuggerah. Wyong.
These are the places I'm familiar with, having just visited rellies on the NSW central coast.
Things are different there. It's not just like the difference between Prahran and Hawthorn; or Sydney and Melbourne. It's different.
Firstly, yeah the weather is good. But more importantly, everyone is white. Church is big. And weirdly, there are lots of mums much younger than me, pushing strollers around the shopping centres. Public transport? Forget it, take your big-arse 4-wheel drive to the nearest shopping centre. Shopping centres? Everywhere. No old-fashioned strips there - everything is mega.
Lots of golf clubs for the retirees; lots of surfers. We ate our first breakfast at Bay Beach, on the foreshore, off polystyrene. POLYSTYRENE?!

But the big thing, the big weird uncomfortable thing, was that my family up there are religos. They are members of one of those evangelical new-skool churches. Like Hillsong. Maybe it IS Hillsong. My cousins 21st on Saturday was a sit-down dinner for 100. On the stage in the hall, grace was said into the karaoke microphone.

I am not so pure

Back in the nineties I went to a second-rate Big Day Out style concert called 'Alternative Nation'. Lou Reed played and had bottles thrown at him. Ice T and Bodycount played and rocked the bogans. I think I had a dance to Skunkhour. Late in the evening Nine Inch Nails hit the stage and I was so upset. Dad had set a pick-up time for me and my best friend Kelly and it was nearing... We had to leave whilst Trent was still rocking out. Very disappointing.

My friends know I have pretty average taste in music. My CD collection is pretty dismal, with a few points of consistency and a strong soundtracks section, but lots of fairly embarrassing bits, like seven Greenday CDs. So last night I headed to the Metro and saw Nine Inch Nails' final Australian concert of the current tour. I haven't got the new album so I wanted to hear some familiar tunes from With Teeth and the albums I've got. I was satisfied.

Trent looks different to the mid-nineties posters: stocky, older, but full of passion and energy. They played Head Like a Hole - damn, that song is nearly 20 years old! And March of the Pigs, plus my new favourites like You Know What You Are?; The Hand That Feeds; The Line Begins to Blur. No encore. Thrown tambourine. Trent very sweaty.

Blogger Is Wak Today

Rarely discover new blogs these days.
Walked on a beautiful mild night to the cinema last night. It's not a cinema I go too often. The crowd is definitely a 'type': wealthy, middle-aged women. Chardonnays in hand.
Movie was another to add to the East file - after Goodbye Lenin, now The Lives of Others. Charlie was introduced to Brecht via this quote::

Long Year

Well we joined the library and borrowed lots of Tintin. I read them slow and Charlie reads them fast. I'm going in order, too. The Blue Lotus is my favourite so far. Of course, I read them all, once. Borrowed from the library in Eltham in the years before it was demolished cos of the asbestos.

Took my first sickie of my new job yesterday. Been sick for a week or so and Charlie more than me. Yesterday was the only day I didn't have a presentation on. We had such a great sickie, too. Though at about 6pm, we walked to work so I could do a few things, but even that was nice. Charlie came with me and sat at the desk next to me and I worked for a while at my computer.

This Friday my Mum launches her latest book. It's a reference book called 'Eat Your Words'. It's been years in the making and is the result, in part, of her pedantry with spelling and grammar on menus and blackboards at all the eateries and cafes that she haunts. She hopes that it will make her rich. Heh heh.

Flying Green

Booked a domestic flight and after it was all done I saw a little thing saying 'offset your carbon emissions'. $5 on my credit card and I received this::

Confirmation
Thank you for joining with us at Virgin Blue, and with many other concerned people around the world, to help make a positive difference to the level of greenhouse gas emissions on our planet.
By taking the time to offset the emissions relating to your flight, your investment is helping to ensure we all have a future.
Your tax invoice will be emailed to the nominated email address. You can download your tax invoice clicking here.
Sincerely, The Teams at Virgin Blue, Pacific Blue and Polynesian Blue.

What happens with my $5? Does it really make a difference? How big is my footprint?

Sometimes I get Scared

Watched a truly great movie last night. I can't remember the last time I was so gripped by a film. Afterwards I was a bit achy from sitting so rigid in my seat for that 100 minutes.
See Sunshine if you can - intense, well-acted, good music, crazy intense plot, challenging ideas about the world, human nature and ethics....

We walked there after recycling old tabbouleh into napolitano pasta sauce - yum! We got booth photos which were silly and cute. Today, I'm off to an 'Effective Teams' workshop that lasts EIGHT hours............ Ugh.

I Get Impatient

I went on camp and was sick. So now I'm home. Camp was ok, the bush is pretty, it was nice having kangaroos visit and splashing my (snotty) face with stream water. But there were noisy bogans all around, and we were sick.
Melbourne is quiet and sunny and beautiful. I'm visiting Jack at his house - walked from ours to here and it was peaceful and nice. Finished my Tintin and am thinking of joining the library so I can borrow them all out like I used to when I was a kid. At the old library, the one full of asbestos.

Two Really Good German Movies

My first trip to Video Ezy in forever and the two movies I chose were German. And really good. They were on that long list of movies I know received great reviews and which I fully intended to see when they were at the cinema... But didn't.
So, Downfall. Phew. We watched it over two nights. It was intense. Dear Sweet Charlie commented that the background noises in the bunker seemed really real. I wondered, is that part of cinematography?
I like watching movies where I don't know any of the actors.
Next movies was Goodbye Lenin! Great all-round, like Downfall. Great colours, dialogue, characters, insight into history. But this one was funny too.

See both if you haven't already.

I wanna go East. Euro.

Last Weekend

Friday. And my post is about last weekend. Celebrated the long weekend last weekend by going away with my lover to the country. It was divine. Heavenly. Relaxing. Fresh air, apples from the roadside stall. Cute little cousins drawing us pictures. We stayed on a farm and had geese, cows and a goat called Nellie as our friends. And the stars and the peace. Was grand.

This week has been insane at work. So busy. I am holding a big event next week and we have lots of preparation - international visitors - blah blah. Hoping it will be a notch on my belt when it's all done and dusted. Standing in the tornado, though, it's pretty hellish.

Went to yoga last night. Pain today. But a return to a form I never had is imminent. Then heard some brilliant crime poetry by Dorothy Porter read out in Eltham.

Won't mention the bad news.

Thinking Walking Compacting

Worked at Prahran yesterday. Where the trendies are. It's a world away from my Hawthorn life. Had drinks after with a bunch of German design students, and my colleagues. Charlie came and we all discussed the Compactor idea and whether a) I could give up impulse-buying blue shoes and if b) Charlie could give up gym memberships. Or should he? Obviously blue shoes are a capitalist indulgence, but are yoga classes? Or movie tickets? Or newspapers?

Meanwhile, Elsewhere

On Sunday I went to my friend's birthday barbecue and had a lovely time. Eating, drinking, praising the rain when it came, playing with little ones, singing happy birthday... All that.
There was one sober moment, though, in the conversations about holidays and house hunting, wine and fashion. Birthday girl's sister is engaged to a man from Guinea, so I asked 'how is Mohammad?'. She replied that things are not great right now as the president had declared martial law, there was a curfew in place, the army had shot at peaceful protesters and generally the country was teetering on the edge of civil war.

Did you know? I certainly didn't. But I'm kinda cut off from the news at the moment.
Was it on the TV? Did you read about it? Anyways, if you are curious about the big world of things we don't know, particularly this situation in Guinea, read up on the BBC's site.

New Blue Shoes

Yeah I'm back in Melbourne but I think I'm still working the K-style... Heh heh.

Valentine's Day is a Crock

Except if you're madly in love. Which I am.
I walked home from work last night - in my new Reeboks. Stopped at a continental delicatessen and bought dolma and a wedge of handmade Belgian chocolate. Crossed the street and bought two Hoegaarden from the fridge at Dan Murphy's. Strutted home, toward my love.

Ate our treats, got dressed and walked up to the tram stop, cut across the Treasury Gardens, saw a wedding on the steps and some lesbians pashing on at the base of a tree.

We went on a date. Long anticipated, it was a place he'd drunk at while I was away. With TT and KP. Or just TT. But definitely not me. So it was magical to be there, together, as it had been created in our imaginations...

So happy, quickly drunk, so happy. Ate pizza after pizza then a chocolate one then home. So happy.

Two Weeks of Perfect Hues

Oh my god I never thought it would be so hard to find time to blog.

My working week is so intense. My settling in period is well n truly over. Life storms on.

I am still in the dark about current events. I have no TV, no radio, and read the paper only on the weekends. The internet -pah!- I'm using only briefly at work. Weird changes.

I've been given my targets -targets!- at work and there's a big event I'm planning as well so I know fer sher that the next 6 weeks will be relentless. Verybusy. So forgive me if I'm under the radar or curt if you call during work hours.

Add It Up

Saw the Violent Femmes the other night. Was my Christmas present from Ma - tickets for me and my beau, and for my brother and his beau. A double-date. We walked to the gig, had a meal, listened to the trivia that we arrived in the middle of, then tried to rock out a lil.

First day at work today. It's killer. I'm fatigued. Thinking about my work really does my head in. It's the biggest professional challenge of my life. Lifestyle is good, I get to work quickly, easily, I have friends and friendly people at work, I am not part of an evil empire or anything nasty. Good shops and caffs and stuff all around.... But man, I'm drained.

Happy New Year

Should be eating dumplings today, to induce prosperity n all, for the new year. Shouldn't be cleaning but did anyways. Gotta enjoy big love, no fights, happiness and new beautiful things all day, to pave the way for a year of peace and bounty.

Being offline is really hard for me. The prospect of work on Monday is also kinda tough, no matter how much I'm sure it's good and right and my colleagues are wonderful. My small break is over, really, bar the cheering, and it has been so wonderful. I spent a day at the beach! Thanks to the generosity of KP, I looked a treat in her stripey swimmers. It was wonderful, down at Black Rock, the water was so clear and the sand clean and it wasn't too hot. Very peaceful and lovely.

Love to all those who are near and far. Love to those I've seen in this first week back, who remembered me and reminded me. Big love to those who I left in K-land. Love to those whom I don't know or barely know who still offer little sweetness and light.

'Tis Grand

Ach, 'tis truly great to be back. Weather was lovely - warm, then rainy. Loving it.
My new digs are light bright welcoming relaxing. The Manor is a happy place.
Had a swim yesterday, ate Chinese food today, have drunk a lot of coffee, bequeathed some well-received gifts, met another new blogger peep. Am suffering terrible hayfever.
Have lost conversation skilz. But not driving skilz.

Happy happy.

I Have One Question

At passport control on the way outta Korea, the immigration officer said to me 'I have one question'. Of course I'm feeling a little nervous, I want everything to go smoothly. It's all been going well so far - my bag was 6 kilos overweight but the check-in cutie didn't care.
Anyways, I said, 'Yes?', and he said 'Australia - that's a racist place, right?'.

Oh, my heart sank.

As I paused, he said 'White; black; yellow', indicating with his hand declining layers, then explained 'Classes, right? It's racist, Australia?'.

I'm Packing

If I had time I'd be blogging about this stuff ::

• Another name change for Australia's Department of Immigration;
• Nationalism in Australia and Serbia;
• Democrats in the USA appear to have a (semi) Mexican, a female, and a black (is that racist?) in the Presidential nomination race;
• My colour palette has changed with my K-time, as it did with my Euro-time, evidenced above;
• I'm feeling calm.

Final 30 Hours

I've spent seven months living alone. I've finally experienced a bit of Asia. I've made more friends and taken more photos. I've bought possibly 8 pairs of shoes. I've flown a lover across the world to see me. I've become acutely hysterical once, maybe twice. I've missed out on big things at home. I'm still in debt. I've sent a lot of postcards. I've eaten breakfast nearly every day. I've fallen asleep and missed my stop.

I'm looking forward to the colours of home, the hugs, the river, the children, the bread, the deck, the walks. Looking forward to not driving to work, to waking up with Charlie, to being alive and inspired at work, to enlarging some photos, to mending some bridges, to supporting my brother.

I'm going to miss the food, the subway, the new friends. I'll miss cheap clothes, shoes and taxis. I'll miss the Han River at night, PC bangs, cute Korean boys and their effeminate fashions, rice cakes in the subway, not understanding a word, freebies everyday.

Saturday Night in Hyehwa

Said goodbye to the posse of K-girlfriends last night. Was typical of the fun silly lovely nights I've spent with them. We ate and ate a little traditional style place, then went to get star photos, then had a beer at a weird bar. Typical! Silly! Perfect! Getting star photos involves dressing up in the wacky costumes, falling about laughing, then eventually getting tiny photos taken in a booth. I had a tiara and angel wings... My friend Ahri went all out, as some kinda dilapidated geisha::

I will really miss these girls. Some of the best times I've had here were with them. I feel so lucky to have met some very genuine and generous people in Korea. Ahri and her friend Damon escorted me all the way home when it was clear I'd miss my last subway connection, which was great cos it meant I could give Ahri a bunch of household stuff I couldn't take home - she was especially delighted when I palmed off a 5 kilo bag of washing powder and a giant jar of honey.

From 6 into 5 but really 4

Said some goodbyes today. Made and distributed farewell cards to my colleagues. Twas my last real day of work. Didn't cry, but surprised myself these past days with how moved I've been by it all. Even amidst the happiness of all the good stuff that's waiting at home.
Also had a little fight at dinner, with my friend from the hood, Tom, whom I've gotten along with famously til now. It kinda gave me a reminder of what it's like to be at home, where one has real conversations about 'issues' and suchlike, and where political debates take place between friends.
Ate a pile of duck, drank a lot of beers and sat looking out at the neon from the 11th floor bar, thinking about my world, Charlie, and the victims of cruise ships. I was thinking about International Cruise Victims Organization, which I've just discovered... An organisation less concerned with the misdeeds of Tom Cruise than those who've taken holidays on cruise ships and somehow suffered as a result. It's in the zeitgeist, people. Last night's CSI: Miami was all about this.

These are the birthday kids from yesterday. The one in the middle is my favourite, Branden::

Day 6: An Australian Story

Last night I laughed and laughed.
Mum told me a great story about Burleigh Heads, where some friends of hers are living. The friends are a lovely couple, an Aussie woman, her Turkish husband and their two gorgeous poppets. After years of living in Istanbul, and months waiting for Mister's visa, they've moved to Australia. Mister is a textile machinist, I think he made suits in Turkey, and applied for a job at a place that made aprons and tea-towels. The previous worker had disappointed management by producing only ten pieces a day, so they were looking for someone new. Missus left him at the atelier for an hour-long tryout, feeling good about seeing him look so comfortable and professional at the machines. When she came back after an hour, the owner rushed at Missus and said 'gosh, he's fast!'... He'd made 45 pieces in the hour. They were rapt. They were also excited to be a part of his new life in Australia, showing him all aspects of the business, and looking forward to helping with his English learning.

Today is the monthly birthday party at work. My last birthday party here. The balloon swords are all made, the long birthday table is covered in coloured paper, the kids are running around wildly. In the classrooms, the kids who have their birthday this month are changing into traditional dress. Cute! Soon I'll be eating fried chicken and drinking pepsi...

Seven Daze

Got offered the 'Exhibit B' position today. Will think about my 'yes' answer and then tell them tomorrow. Means I'm heading straight back into the giant machine when I get back. But that is security, and bills paid. Ach, it's not bad at all, and it'll be working in a friendly familiar place with old mates all around.
Less than a week left here. I've taught my Wednesday afternoon boys for the last time. I entertained then by pretending to eat erasers, or pulling them out of my ear. Am I grandpa? Whatever, it was fun.

• Saw The Departed, loved it;
• Reading February's Vanity Fair (which has a huge article on the neocons who left Bush's side);
• Reading the Melbourne Poet's Union best poem;
• Listening to the old psychedelic mix CDs that LTR has tirelessly made for me;
• Thinking about the lack of a successor at this school;
• Drinking red wine for dinner.

Tenth Day

Credit where credit is due - my new profile photo was taken by Ethan. Nice, eh?

Sightseeing was scheduled for this Sunday - as is often the case - Ethan and I travel to some new place to see some random Korean highlight. I was really pleased that Ethan and Jen both were happy to do as I wanted and go to the War Memorial, for a Korean lunch and to Yongsan to buy DVDs. The sun was shining, it was cold, but bright and fine. Lovely winters' day.

The War Memorial is maaasssive, just like the National Museum. And the grounds are full of aeroplanes, tanks, submarines and howitzers. Yeah, and a little wedding palace, in case you wanna recall the war while you take your vows.

There was a great deal of acknowledgement of the UN forces who had fought in the Korean War - I saw monuments, plaques, uniforms and movies of the Australian involvement. The question arose of why the 38th parallel was chose for the division and I immediate thought was just cos the Americans picked it... Well, as Wikipedia says ::

On August 10, 1945 two young officers – Dean Rusk and Charles Bonesteel – were assigned the task of creating an American occupation zone. Working on extremely short notice and completely unprepared for the task, they used a National geographic map to decide on the 38th parallel; they chose it because it divided the country approximately in half but would leave the capital Seoul under American control. No experts on Korea were consulted and the two men were unaware that forty years previous, Japan and Russia had discussed sharing Korea along the same parallel; Rusk later said that had he known, he would have chosen a different line.

Gawd. It's just so sad and ridiculous. Rusk actually said: '[The] choice of the 38th Parallel, recommended by two tired colonels working late at night, proved fateful.'

Though today, I don't know why, I didn't instinctively mourn those lives lost... Through all those memorials, I wasn't moved. When in Minsk I remember been profoundly upset at a memorial to the Belorusian mothers of those who fought with the Soviets in the 9-year war in Afghanistan. Those lives were lost so needlessly, and the concept of a mother's grief was emotionally compelling. Not sure why I didn't get that today... Maybe because the memorial, many parts of it, are focused on the technicalities of the wars: equipment; tactics; dates and numbers. The idea/s of the war are so much more complex, intractable, intriguing, frustrating... Sad.

The Last 12 Days

I've not long left in Korea, I have started to count down.

Yesterday was the twelfth day, and it was a regular school day. On the way to work in the morning I realised some kid was following me, imitating my strut for the amusement of his mate. Am I that ridiculous? Had dinner with a friend in my hood. I really wanted to eat galbi - barbequed meat - one more time before I left cos I love it and it's so Korean to me. So we overate, it was delicious. Talked about the history wars in Australia and Spain.

Today I cleaned, I talked to home, I read blogs and eventually went out, with the mission to find a French ghetto. Last year there was a sensation in Korea when two French expatriates were under suspicious for killing their babies and storing them in their home freezer in this hood. I'd heard there was a Montmartre street and all... Unfortunately, my directions were sketchy, so I ended up roaming around in the twilight (and increasing chill), looking for anything French. After walking by a huge suburb being built, another one a ghost town, I'd given up when I saw a sign in French. Oh my. Stopped a moment later and took this photo ::

I'd found the hood. And it was nice and curious to be in this sweet neighbourhood with French families talking and delicatessens and nice beauty salons and lots of manicured dogs and wine bars. But I was very cold and over it. I went to the giant Gangnam Underground Shopping Mall and bought jocks for my brother (I'm under instruction), a cute top for Z, a cute dress that may or may not be able to contain my boobs, and some hair ties cos my hair is finally growing.

Somewhere in Time

When I emailed some Korea alumni to ask what things I should make sure I did in Seoul before I left, one replied:: 'get to as many galleries as you can - you don't find that quality many places'.
It's true, the art here is so good, and there are many tiny contemporary art galleries with new different interesting beautiful work of a really high quality. Ethan and I went to the Artsonje Center and saw a show mixed media show called 'Somewhere in Time'. My favourite piece was by San Keum Koh, and was a big panel with pearl beads adhered to it. It was very very beautiful, graphic and peaceful. If it were nothing more, I could well appreciate it. Then we realised the beads were arranged in a deliberate manner; not to form an image, but to represent the characters and spaces taken from a text, that was sitting nearby on a plinth.

I read about the artist and his reasons for making this simple, graphic work here and saw some more of his work at the bottom of this page. What do you think?

Dream

This and yesterday's green photo were taken on my holiday to Ethan's hood, Ansan, last weekend. We both live in satellite cities, so technically outside of Seoul. Ansan is a metropolis which seems as big as Melbourne, malls, neon, giant churches, above-ground train stations, big houses as well as apartments. It was great to go there last weekend, cos it was in my first coupla weeks in Korea that I went out there to meet Ethan, who was a blogger, barely yet an e-friend. Six months later we have a great friendship, which is one of the hardest things to leave here.

No school this morning as the lil kids are seeing Heidi: The Musical. They've been counting sleeps down, as if Heidi was as exciting as Santa.

Zen and Garbage

Been reading a terrific book, The Secret River. Not sure how much weight my literary opinion is worth after I loved Gorky Park so intensely. But The Secret River is a whole other wonderful. All about convict transportation and settlement near Sydney back in the day. Confrontations between whites and blacks. I understand a little of the terror of the frontier, but I never thought about the new hierarchies that the convicts were negotiating. I was pondering how their behaviour was shaped by fear and pride, and that their actions were thus in some way affected, unnatural.

Trekked across Seoul after work to go to a bookstore and sell some books to them. The guy asked me what I thought of Zen and... and I said 'absolute garbage, I wish I could get those hours of my life back'. Then he asked what I thought of Fury, by Rushdie, and I said 'absolute shite, I wish I could get those hours of my life back... so are you gonna give me a good price?'.

Watched a heap of filums of late: Babel; 16 Blocks; Lucky Number Slevin; Jarhead (again).

'Sbeen good. Also got back online and bought some CDs to augment my wacky collection. Great.

Word of interest:: Refoulement

Person of interest:: Anthony Swofford

Mail

Maybe I've started to feel sad about leaving here.
Today I felt I understood why teachers teach for decades. It can be so fun, so rewarding. Lovely.

I hate that guilty feeling when you know you're leaving... Or is it just me?
I remember my boss in Melbourne sending me a bunch of white tulips to congratulate me on my graduation. It was maybe two weeks after I'd decided to leave, but hadn't told him. I felt terrible.

I got mail yesterday. And today. So wonderful. I know I have a blog and email accounts and a phone but it was still great to get snail mail. I got a card from my friend in Iceland, and a Christmassy card from Dear Charlie's family. Nice.

I think it's gonna snow this weekend. Gosh, soon I'll be home, and it'll be damn hot. I'm thinking about the river, getting a water massage in the rapids...

Demons and Sages

I may have come down from my high. Yeah.

So last night, as all sorts of demons, new and old, invaded my mind while I tried to sleep, I was thinking of where I was this week last year. Then I thought about where I was the year before, the year before, and so on. Wow.

• Last year at this time, I was facing a knife, then a fist, being thrown at me by my partner.
• The previous year, I was coming back from my first visit to Byron Bay, seeing Garden State at the Nova, and hosting a party attended only by bogans, schizophrenics and alcoholics.
• The year before I spent two days in London on my way back from Ireland, before heading on to the white-on-white freezing lonely landscape of Lithuania.

My horoscope for December, as told by the sage at Vanity Fair ::

The good news: at least you don't have to scrounge around for money and tear out your hair over the bills. Politically, though, it has been one hell of a hairy game over the last several months. Saturn's culmination in your solar midheaven can solidify your position, help you find your niche, and establish you as a powerful, credible pro. The aggravation that goes along with that is another story. Some people are so mean. They simply refuse to forget all the inappropriate things you did to get where you are.

And for January ::

With money no longer a source of agita, maybe you can stay focused on your career. If you've got the gift of gab, God bless you, because it's going to come in handy now that the ruler of your 10th house is in your solar 3rd. Not only can you express your views professionally and publicly, but you will also be able to talk your way out of all the sticky political situations you've gotten mixed up in over the past few months as you endeavored to climb to the pinnacle of success without stepping on too many heads along the way.

Symptoms

I've realised I'm experiencing some side-effects of my imminent return home ::

1. Hair is growing
(It had stopped growing and started falling out the past 6 months in Korea.)
2. Hysterical optimism
(Love, reunions, new beginnings, freedom... I just keep feeling deliriously happy.)
3. Hayfeverish sneezes
(A constant the past decade, which stopped entirely the past 6 months in Korea.)

Oh, there's a great unbloggable rumour (good news, rather) that is just about to hit the airwaves... Oh the joy of love in the new year!

Exotic Rich Beautiful

Love is optimism.
2007 the year of my exotic rich and beautiful life.
Where ever I am now, it's better and more beautiful and happy than where I was last year. What a blessed life I have.

I received a happy new year greeting from a good friend who said ::
"I wish you really ALL the best for 2007... The best in love life work friendships food art music books outfits political engagement confessions movies bands concerts nature sun letters good talks health". I like that. I wish the same for all.

Was gonna stay in last night, then Ethan called me and said 'I'm playin' the card: you're leavin' soon: come on out.' Then he tells me where... Homo Hill. Great. The wrong side of town with a buncha sleezoids drunks hookers and scary army arseholes. So yeah, I went. Ethan is a doll and he was with his lovely friend Jen. We went to a bar called 'Queen'. Yeah. Drink specials and GIs at the bar. Wasted poofs kissing fat girls, army girls who look like LL Cool J. Cute Korean guys playing with silver balloons, dirty lesbians with their tops off. Funfunfun.
It was low-key, I didn't dance, had a couple of drinks (and a felafel), then left at 12.30. I stopped to sneeze as I walked down to get a taxi and a hooker came out of the brothel I was standing in front of. I walked on, through crowds of gangstas setting off fireworks, dodging guys trying for a New Year's embrace. It was less then a hour into the New Year but the queue at MacDonald's was out the door.

Nice taxi driver took me quickly and safely home.

Three Daze

So I have 5 daze of holidaze.
Day 1 was the coldest day I have experienced for 3 years. Damn cold. And somehow I replicated the pointless sightseeing escapades that characterised my time in Eastern Europe... It's documented on Ethan's blog. Basically we went to a boring cultural site, an abandoned museum, a closed arboretum. It was insane cold. But the second part of our plan was Dongaemun market, which is collection of high rise and sprawling building packed with tiny stalls, thousands of them. I went there the first week in Seoul and was totally overwhelmed. This time I went back with cash and a sense of purpose, which helps.
Bought my brother some cool jeans ("most popular style in Koreahhhh") and a cool grey hoodie ("you are the most beautiful girl in the world"). Found at coat for Ethan and a $6 v-neck for me... Just what I wanted.
Day 2 I lay around in bed, read 'How to be Good', spoke to a very hungover Sweet Charlie, watched some of '21 Grams' and 'Dr Phil', thought about how I'd spend the next few daze... Couldn't imagine getting the energy up to head into Hongdae with Gyeong-Ah to see some music. Weirdly I did, got ready in 10 minutes and raced into town. Was SO GLAD I DID. I was just so happy to see Gyeong-Ah, she is just the sweetest thing. Cute, but REAL. A real person, warm and affectionate and honest and lovely. She took me to a bar in a street I know well, and the music started shortly after. Mmm the singer was a really cute folk-style girl who did samba-beat ballads with a bit of jazzy skatting. Very nice and a friendly atmosphere. I'm gonna buy the CD. One of Gyeong-Ah's friends brought her cute boyfriend, Chandler. I asked him why he chose that name... He said cos Chandler from 'Friends' is cool... I said but he's so stupid! We laughed and agreed he was still nice and funny. Whatever.
Day 3 I randomly was called and asked to do some dodgy work at some random suburb, promotional stuff for a new Engrish school. Free money. So I was up early and catching a train to some place far away from Seoul. I didn't care, though the friends came with me were getting paranoid about doing 'off-contract' work. It was a fancy new English school, half-built, with a suspicious air of a failed investment about to happen. I was given a green apron and told to work in a 'charity shop' that was set up for prospective students to shop with play money in. Talk English, smile, mingle, pretend you work here. I did it. No problem. 5 hours, including a breakdancing show and lunch trip, posing for umpteen photos with random guys, asking dozens of kids 'how are you?' and 'what's your English name?'. My face is very sore from smiling. Easy money though.

Buffet Hate Rant

I hate buffets. Hate.
They take all the joy out of eating.

Last week I went to an 'American Style Grill' place called 'Ashley' that had a Laura Ashley theme... As in, lots of floral decor. Awful. It was a Christmas dinner for the teachers at my school. I had a plate of salad and stuff, finished eating and then sat back and watched 7 women shovel mountains of food into their faces while talking in Korean. As I sat I thought about why I hate buffets so much and how I was going to live the rest of my days not attending any buffets.

I thought I'd ranted about this to all and sundry. Evidently not. Yesterday JD Whatever took me to Marche in the COEX. It's a 'European Style Buffet'. As in, the hostesses are in ridiculous 'Bavarian' dresses... Ah! Check out the Marche site to see what I mean. As soon as I entered I got a bad feeling. I was told I could order something, that I didn't have to get the buffet. But then the hostesses talked JD into getting the buffet for us... It costs 24,000 won, about $30 Aussie.

Anyhow, after a couple of minutes I insisted we leave. My reasons for hating buffets are::

• The group doesn't sit and eat together: friends or family get up and wander away as others are eating.
• You have no idea how much you've eaten: plates can be infinitely refilled.
• People use extra dishes, discarding each plate after each use.
• I can't sit down and relax and eat; I have to get up and walk around, plate in hand.
• It's expensive.
• It's often weird international standard cuisine. Stodgy. Flavourless.
• It's mass produced crap.

Suddenly

Hey it's less than a month. That means that there's a lot of stuffs I gotta do in the next weeks. Sights, shopping, photos, all that. The things you think you'll do later. Then you leave, the chance is lost. When in Lithuania, I never went to the Hill of Crosses, one of the many wacky sites that country offers... It was something I wanted to do, but stayed on the list. Now I guess it becomes a reason to go back.

Back at work today and yesterday, and tonight I taught 3 extra classes at our sister school which -ooops- doesn't have a native speaker teacher for a couple of weeks and -ooops- haven't organised a replacement. It was good for me, some extra money, paid cash, and the kids were all well-behaved and brought their textbooks. It was actually pleasant... Not being facetious neither.

There's a few TV shows that I find myself watching semi-regularly that I'd never heard of until I saw them on TV here. Maybe I'm watching them in a kinda vacuum. They might not exist outside of my crappy pirated Defence Forces Network channel. They are::

• Close to Home
• Without a Trace
• American Dad
• Arrested Development
• 1 Versus 100
• Nanny 911
• Boston Legal (oooh, James Spader, sigh)

Mall Christmas

It was Christmas. But it didn't feel like it. Not at all. Not even when Ethan gave me a HAMPER of AWESOME gifts... Kinda felt like a birthday or something. It wasn't merry. It wasn't sad or lonely, neither. I had a good day. Just strange and unChristmassy.

Spent ages on the phone to Ma and Jack in the morning, lovely, also strange cos it was cold and unSummery in Melbourne - similar weather to here - where it was a gorgeous mild Winters' day. Headed to COEX to meet Ethan and Jen, the plan was to see Gael Garcia Bernal and Charlotte Gainsbourg in The Science of Sleep. Unfortunately every bastard in town was at the mall and we had to get 6pm movie tickets... Meaning we had 5 hours to burn in the mall. Why it didn't occur to us to get out of the complex, I don't know. Whatever. If we had have been in a hurry I wouldn't have this photo of me in the promo booth for The Science of Sleep::

Ok, so it was a little scary when the movie started and they were talking French. And Spanish. And the subtitles were in Korean. But we stayed cool. Maybe the movie was 55% in English. And I could understand maybe every fifth French word. We missed some jokes, but it's a highly visual film: great cinematography; mini animations; beautiful actors; lovely music; totally surreal in the Eternal Sunshine way.

Back to work tomorrow.

Christmas Eve

It won't be a white Christmas. Last Saturday's snow is all but gone and the weather is kinda mild. And I haven't any mince pies. Dammit. At home, Jack's made a summer pudding with $50 of berries. Last year I made one and was so nervous cos the fruit was worth so much. It was delicious.
Far from home, Christmas is meaningless. My other Christmas 'away' was in Ireland, 3 years ago, and we had a typical working class Chrissy lunch at some stranger's house. It was rainy and we all drank a lot. The food was terrible. Classic.

Yesterday my afternoon disappeared into the subway. Hours riding around getting grumpy, occasionally getting off to run an errand. Eventually went to meet up with Gyeong-Ah in Itaewon. We went to a foreigner's bar where Hey-Young just started waitressing, and ordered a drink while we waited for her to finish her shift. It was so good to see the girls - last time we hung out was when we went bungy-jumping. They are just so much fun. Meeting them is a highlight of my time here. We always laugh so much and talk absolute garbage. Anyways, they had devised a night of activities, of which I agreed to some - I wasn't up for a noraebang just yet. So we headed up Namsan, to visit the tower. For Christmas, I guess, it was all lit up like a giant kaleidoscope. The view was great from the base so we decided we'd not got up to the observation deck, and instead spend our money in the cool gift shop. Then we got some strange chewy ice-cream. Unbeknownst to me, the girls had sneakily bought me a gift and written a really cute Christmas card for me, which they sprung on me later at the subway as we said goodbye. Love!

I feel like there's a whole something to say about Otto, who's 21st birthday would have been last week. If he hadn't 'left' when he was 18. Dad and I spoke about it, about how it's impossible not to remember him. Which means sadness.

Finished Gorky Park. Damn, so good. Was it really good or do I just secretly like pulp fiction?

Which Is For Me?

Considering the next chapter in my working life. So, two different organisations I might (like to) work for. Each has a set of 'attributes' or 'values' which should underpin the work I do and the way I do it. So which could I align myself most easily with?

EXHIBIT A ::
Deliver quality results
Work collaboratively
Behave ethically
Respect and value others
Develop self and others

EXHIBIT B ::
Building Organisational Capability
Builds and Maintains Relationships
Demonstrates Personal Integrity
Sets Direction
Drives Service Excellence

Gorky Park

Gorky Park is so the right book to be reading now. All the snow. Not to mention vodka and intrigue.

I love the opening line::

"All nights should be so dark, all winters so warm, all headlights so dazzling.'

Yesterday while carefully walking over the snow-covered ice, a woman in step with me (as much as one could be) broke rank and started to skate on the ice in her sneakers. It was much quicker but she did get amused looks from the people at the bus stop.

It's only a matter of time until I post saying 'Today I fell on my arse. It hurt.'

Things and Time

Things I didn't realise I'd be doing in my working life ::
1. Fixing lil girls' hair;
2. Teaching how to tell the time;
3. Posing as a teacher in school photos;
4. Discussing the weekend's lego achievements.

Time for a k-shit? Here's one on a little pink jumper::

WAWA girls

I want to with you
Work's one way
around the world

Snow Drifts

Real snow!
Forecast was for -8 so I knew I didn't wanna go out and see a band late, and when it snow started dumping around 10pm last night, I was glad I wasn't stuck in town. But gosh, it's so beautiful. Made me feel giddy and happy. I hung out my window taking photos and watching the first snowman of winter be built, and the first snowball fights take place. Wow.

Snow makes me think of the beautiful times in Lithuania. And the icicles on my window ledge... Take me back to my gorgeous apartment in Vilnius.

Yesterday I was nearly recovered from my sickness so I went to see a movie at the huge COEX mall. I hoped I was gonna see The Departed, but no... Saw The Holiday instead. It's this year's Love Actually, as far as I can tell. I think I liked it. Can Kate Winslet save any movie? And I think I'm starting to see some appeal in Jude Law, who I never cared for. It's just that he says 'definitely' like Dear Sweet Charlie.

I wanted to see a movie here in Korea cos I thought I'd been to the movies in every country I'd been too, but on pressing from my Ma: "Really?! What movie did you see in Belarus? Finland?", I realised I hadn't. Ah well. Might just have to go back.

Had my first meal after nearly 3 sick days... At Jackie's Kitchen. Yeah. Ordered a grapefruitade to go with my dim sum, and listened to some cute Korean girls in high white boots and tiny Santa outfits play classical mash-ups of Christmas carols. Awful. But funny.

Inupiat

Me very sick.
I blame the yummy hot chocolate I had on Wednesday night at Ordinary Cafe in Hongdae.
Me nearly dead.

But. Recovery is scheduled for tomorrow.
I watched a DVD this arvo. Flight 93. Yeah. Not sure why it is entertainment.

I'm all about Iceland today. My dear friend JoJoHannahHannah is living there making me very jealous right now. I found a cool website of a dude from Reykjavik, checkit. Also I discovered 'Inupiat', the people and language from wayyy up Alaska way, and in the Bering Straits.

What was I going to say?
Ugh. How about them bushfires?
I'm outta here.

LOHAS and Zeitgeist

PC bangs are the internet cafes of Korea.
They are cheap, hi-tech, dark, smoky, open 24 hours, and full of boys and men. I have a regular, and a backup, in the street behind my house. Tonight I've gone to another one, and it is so different. First of all, the lights are up. That's what caught my eye when I was buying apples from the one-armed man the other day. But, more importantly, it is not called 'kin.com pc' or 'black hole' or anything like that. It's called 'LOHAS: Lifestyles of Health and Sustainability'. Wow. No shit. (Did anyone else not know that LOHAS was a thing? Google it!) LOHAS is still full of men/boys though.

Anyhoo. It's six weeks til I'm home. I've been focussed on finding a replacement for me. Please lemme know if you know anyone who'd be interested in coming to Korea for a year to teach. It ain't that bad a break.

Met a blogger peep on Saturday night. Cool, huh? She was damn cute. Though she did keep me waiting in the cold for a bit... Grr. It's so ace that I met Ethan and her through this geek machine. And in Korea too!

Just rediscovered the best tv show ever made. Had a marathon session watching the sixth and final season of Oz last night. Nearly killed me. Damn it is just so good. So many quotables. So hardcore. So clever.

"Maybe instead of forgive and forget it should be forgive and remember. Remember that you might wake up tomorrow and have to forgive all over again and again and again, the way the heart keeps beating like a drum. Forgive. I can't. You can. Forgive. Forgive. I can't. You can. Forgive."

Reading Richard and Dave's blogs and remembering the horror that was Meredith last year. You win some, you lose some. That was one weekend I coulda done without. Maybe next year I'll go back, work the bar again, but this time, not get sunburnt, not go with a shithead, and look after my KP better.

Thinking about trying to memorise the African capitals. They are my Achilles' heel in the capitals game. I'm thinking 50+ is possible, if other smarties can remember all the USA state capitals. And I already know some, like Ouagadougou for Burkina Faso. But I got all side tracked on the crazy weird history of Liberia. I had no idea. I had no idea it was established to provide a homeland for the free-born or formerly enslaved African Americans... It accounts for their flag and name, eh? Am I a geek?

Minis

No photos of me today: I'm doing my hobo-chic down at the PC bang. Pretty much wearing all hand-me-downs, including, Charlie, Bunny on my head... Is that ok?

Hope nobody mistakes me for the crazy lady that I see crouched and rocking in the stairwell sometimes. She gives me the heebie-jeebies.

This week I saw someone riding one of those infernal mini-bikes... But I didn't mind - the dude was short-statured. Seriously, a good reason to ride a mini-bike: being a mini-person.

Last night I watched Perfume: The Story of a Murderer. Satisfying adaptation. Says she who can barely remember the book save for a few scenes and a memory of excessive adjectives. While watching I thought about how it's a story about smell, and in the book they used all those words to express the cornucopia of smell as that is the book's medium - words. In the movie, it's the image. I think the images and cinematography were evocative in a similar way. In this way it was a success. Of course the actor playing Grenouille was better looking than the book would have you imagine, but I think this was one of very few 'Hollywoodisations.

Anyhoo. This week wasn't too cold. But rainy and dreary today.
I can't help noticing that women here are wearing more mini-skirts this winter than they wore in summer. They look very cute in their high socks, high boots and short coats.

Big, Full, Orange

The moon looks amazing tonight. Big, full, orange. Kinda like the 5 kilos of pumpkin I just got suckered into buying. Can you freeze pumpkin? I can't possibly eat it all.

Still a bit sick, but spirits are good. I got a birthday present today - from a very very sweet woman. It was such an awesome surprise. It's been months since I got any mail.

Sunday I got outta bed and outta my apartment and went to the National Museum with Ethan. There's a big show there with stuff from the Louvre but we didn't see that - we just saw their permanent collection - it woulda been too much to see both in one day. First thing to note about the museum was the sheer size of it. Huge! Makes the Tate Modern look like a playroom. Reminded me of the coolest building I saw in France - La Grande Arche, in La Defence.

I knew I'd tire before seeing all the exhibit, so I asked Ethan if we could start in the part that I thought would be most interesting - the Asian Artifacts section. There was art and stuffs from Indonesia, Central Asia, China, etc. I discovered a passion for celadon pottery. Love the stuff! Check it out.

Headed off to buy DVDs after and I convinced Ethan to eat with me at Lotteria - something I wanted to do just once. Yep. It'll be just once. Gawd I just don't do fast food. I still remember my first trip to McDonald's with horror.


One of the DVDs was 'Perfume' - one of mine (and KP's) favourite books. I had no idea it had been adapted for the screen. Haven't watched it yet.

One of the books my Dadda sent over with Dearest Charlie was the best Australian Essays 2005 - thanks Dad. I read a really beautiful story from it today. Very Australian in all the good ways. It's by Mark Tredennick. Check him out - especially you, JCW, if you haven't already. Here's a poem of his.

Oh, if you wanted to see my *new coat* and *new boots* ::

Sugar Plum Farm

I took a sickie yesterday and lay in bed watching DVDs like Neverland and Fever Pitch. Nearly cried in both. Heh heh. My boss called in the evening to see how I was and she was so sweet it heart tore a little. This morning I felt much better and watched V for Vendetta from bed before getting up and doing a lil spring cleaning. It felt good. The sun was shining so I thought stretching my legs was a good idea. I need a coat and boots, so I thought that was a good excuse to head down to the market. As I'm a cheapskate, I really wanted to find the cheapest coat ever. I'll only need it for the next seven weeks, so why go all out? All I could find were daggy granny coats for cheap. Ugh. Then I spotted a 'recycled' clothes stall in the market and headed in. Grabbed a long grey coat from the wall and checked it on. 15,000 - $20 - SOLD! Too easy. Went to a granny shoe shop and found some boots that fit the bill - only not long boots, but at this point I just need to stop wearing those damn espadrilles. They have a long pointed toe like witches' shoes, and the bossman in the store gave me a once-over before overcharging me. But 45,000 - $60 - Not bad.

Done, I headed home quite pleased with myself. Watched a movie with Colin Firth in a threesome, Where the Truth Lies. Thought about my employment prospects. Thought about Doc cos it was his birthday yesterday. Thought about my friends' home being auctioned today.

Now I'm thinking about Finland, Lapland, the Sami people, and their flag::

Gillard for PM

"This is the most important election for Australian in a generation.
This is not an election we can afford to lose.
It is an election we must win."

Is this really happening?

Snow, and Back

Woke up to snow.
I knew it was cold last night!

Walked to school experiencing not so much cold as thrill. It was great, seeing snow all over the ground, trees, cars. Then in the morning I had the littlest, cutest kids and while I was teaching it started to snow... I couldn't resist gazing out the window watching big, soft snowflakes leisurely descend.
I recalled the first time I saw snow fall, in my first week in Vilnius, studying Lithuanian, a classmate pointed to the window and I was entranced. The rest of my Euro classmates were underwhelmed, but I'd never seen snow FALL. It was wonderful.

I have just booked my ticket home. Back for Australia Day. Ain't life grand?

We have one chance
One chance...
To get everything right

My friends, my habits, my family
They mean so much to me
I just don't think that it's right

I've seen so many ships sailing
Just heading back out again
And go off sinkin'

Thanks, Modest Mouse, for those lyrics...

Truly, Back

Found the CDs of photos from the Party Like it's 1985 shenanigans. Oh my joyful goodness and bright hilarity. I've just uploaded a heap. Want to post some here but so hard to choose a favourite. What a great night. What a wonderful week home.

Hey I know it's cold here but I had no idea IT WAS THIS COLD. Sub-zero... Snow will be here for good soon. Definitely time to stop wearing espadrilles and buy a coat. Damnit.

I got to name my first student today. It was exciting. Ethan has been in the game ages so he's named heaps but it was the first time I'd got a new student with no English name. He is Sally's brother. So I called him Steve, after my godfather. I was rapt.

Back

"You're getting your life back—and just in time!
A recent lunation at the end of your 12th house capped off a crazy-making transit of Mars. Politically speaking, it wasn't quite as disastrous as the Dallas motorcade, but whoever was taking shots at you certainly kept well hidden. In fact, it wouldn't be surprising if you experienced a flashback to the darkest days of the 1970s. Now that it's over, you can kick into high creative gear, reappear stronger than ever, and show everybody that you were only playing dead."

My horoscope, as told by Vanity Fair, hot off the press and SO TRUE as usual.

K-shit Heaven

Need I say more??

Well, they were 5000 each (AUD$6 WOW)

And I smiled all the way home after buying them. Joy.

Watched Munich tonight and marvelled at Bana doing his Israeli accent. Erm?

Oh, I uploaded some more Autumn shots from my walk to work.

Salute to Autumn 2

Glorious. This is on my way to work. Can you see why I smile?

Also - ' I hold a beast, an angel and a madman in me, and my enquiry is as to their working, and my problem is their subjugation and victory, downthrow and upheaval, and my effort is their self-expression'. Thanks, Dylan Thomas.

Happy Happy

Spoke to a dear friend last night and she suggested that I have a good day today. Well, I started it right by waking with my alarm, instead of hours before, so that was good. Chose a cute outfit, put on Modest Mouse, called RACV and got sense into them. Stepped outside and it was a glorious day, not cold, leaves falling everywhere. Thought about sweet things and Charlie. Took photos. Got to work and am eating fried chicken and listening to the translated flirting of the lesbian photographer who's here cos it's birthday party day at work. She's pouring me pepsi.

Remocon

Funnies at school this week. Teaching my students the various objects in a living room, they volunteered 'remocon' - typical K-abbreviation of remote control. And when discussing definition of 'party', I suggested birthday party, Halloween party... And a student chirped 'snack party'. Ok, sure.

Walking to work each day since I got back has been amazing. Korea is beautiful in Autumn, it's true. The Zenit would love it so I must forgive it for not winding on and get more film. It's so beautiful I reckon people smile just because.

As I was admiring the leaves in my street this morning I heard a noise like a giant kazoo. What the hell? Then I realised it was a person. A child. Screaming. Across the street. My student. Screaming at me in a high-pitched shriek: 'Good morning! Jessie! Teacher!'. So funny.

So my finger WAS healing really well... Very quickly and cleanly. But now I think the stump has been rejected... And is just a glorified (??) scab. Gross, sorry. At least I'm not posting a picture.

As of yesterday I'm no longer teaching my boss' husband. I'm so glad. It was a bit of a drain cos the preparation took me hours. So no pocket money. But more free time to watch DVDs and read the pile of books I brought back from home (aka stole from Dad). And to see some K-sights.

Finger-lengths

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground.
And I, I pray that something picks me up,
and sets me down in your warm arms.


Thanks, Ethan, for puting this on my birthday compilation. And thanks Snow Patrol, for the beautiful lyrics that take me to Dear Charlie.

DVD Weekend

I've been loaned a DVD player and a stack o' DVDs so this weekend I watched Closer and Super Size Me. Sweet. Natalie Portman is so much hotter than Jude Law. Mmm yeah.

Didn't got to poker - went upstairs to Olivia's apartment and ate pizza while watching Crash (race-relations, not Cronenberg). Didn't go teach at the dodgy home-school either - she postponed til next week but... I really can't be fecked with MORE teaching. I feel like relaxing. With my DVD player and the mountain of books I brought home with me.

Saw Ethan today. Have I mentioned I ADORE him? I found his blog before I came to Korea, before I decided to come, actually, and then we met up when I got here. He is proof the internet is a force of good. Heh heh. Maybe I'm just saying this cos he gave me EXCELLENT birthday presents, including a piece from his exhibition earlier this year. It's hanging in my apartment already ::

Today was my first real venture back into Korea. Since I got back a week ago I haven't been far from home - just to work and back, so I've not felt like I'm anywhere. Weird feeling. So I got the subway today, to go to Ethan's, and had a funny interaction with a guy selling funny scarf things on the train, which amused and embarrassed me. I bought one of the scarf things and no-one else was biting... The peddler said "I hate Koreans" to me in English. Funny.

Mandarins and Poker

A few things.

A box of mandarins at work (more like a crate - huge!) cos it was one of the rugrat's birthdays - Mimi is 7! Yum. Free food.

Apparently France might get a hot young Socialist President. I mean, 52 is young, right?

K-shit on a puffa jacket::
Oriental traditional out-door mix
sportive soft casual retro soft jean

Invited to poker tonight. Hmm. And tomorrow I'm supposed to be teaching at some dodgy home-school on the down-low. But I've got cold feet and can't bothered. Grr.

Everyone Says Hi

Don't stay in a sad place
Where they don't care how you are

Everyone says hi

If the money is lousy
You can always come home

We can do the old things
We can do all the bad things

If the food gets you leery
You can always phone

We could do all the good things
We could do it, we could do it,
we could do it

Thanks, David Bowie, for those lyrics. G-g-gold.

Thanks for the birthday sweetness, everyone.

'Specially feel special for getting greetings from Iceland. Woah.

(And Rio, and Amsterdam, and Brunswick, mwah mwah mwah)

Last week, this night, I was eating roast lamb up at the ranch, wearing fur, drinking and drinking and talking with the lovers and peeps. I was sunburnt. I was delirious with happiness.

[I feel an apology for all this self-indulgence is necessary... No 'issues' on the lament of late. Sorry. Must get back to reading papers news. Get out there out of my head. Or my arse. Sorry.]

Another Year

Today is my birthday.
I turn 26 today.

Although I've been away from home for a birthday before, this is a verystrange birthday. Verystrange.
I woke up on the right side of the bed and started the day feeling good. Kids were fine at school and I managed to keep it on the down-low that it was my birthday so my colleagues didn't do anything silly. I walked home for lunch and chatted with My Dearest Charlie about a bucket of eels, which made me so happy and chirpy he thought I'd been on the sauce.

I think the past year has been a pretty good one, and the year ahead is full of promise. Truly feeling optimistic. Last year when I had my super birthday day I couldn't imagine the year ahead: graduation ecstasy; relationship demise; misery; my day in court; Tassie shenanigans; Helena's arrival; Korea idea; vipassana; joy; meeting Dear Sweet Charlie; living in Korea and the craziness of late. And so much other stuff.
Now I look forward to a year full of surprises. So many things that held me back no longer exist or matter. Mmm I sure there will be challenges... But I know I live a blessed and sweet life, and my future is bright. Yeah. Happy birthday me. Heh heh.

Where are my pants?

There has been too few photos posted on the lament. I'll try to fix this. Let's start with a classic moment from Jack's Party Like It's 1985 shindig. Semi-naked toasted boys writhing on the dancefloor. Does it get any better??




When Baby Doc complained he couldn't find his pants, my reaction was: 'well, if you hadn't taken them off (to reveal white hotpants), you wouldn't have lost them'.

In other news, it's freezing here. Open Class is postponed. It's my birthday tomorrow. My head cold is abating. I forgot to announce that I finished reading Zen and the Art of Shit... Let me just say... A crappy read, I wish I hadn't bothered. Don't feel bad if you quit half-way through, there's hours of your life you didn't waste.

Lost

Lost a few things in translation. Well, they may be recovered sooner rather than later. And some are just things.
I lost my apartment key so when I reached Seoul I was locked out.
I can't find the photo CDs that Doc and EJW made me.
I lost the opportunity to spend quality time with some of the truly special people in my life.
And of course I lost more of my heart.

But I guess I'm back safe. It's damn cold. I can't believe I'm here.

We will keep saying 'it was worth it'. It is worth it.

Sunrise in Singapore

Here I am alone again, trying to balance between capable automaton and emoting human mess.
On the way 'home' but of course... It's not really home. That was my place, my people, back there, in Melbourne. I'm confused about why I'm doing this to myself and to those who love me but I'm also clear that stay or go, stick it or shove it, I have a direct line to happiness and freedom.
As I stand at the gate, the golden edges of the cloudscape suddenly reveal the giant orange sun. It's magnificent. I remember that the sky is all obscured in Seoul, dirty and often colourless.
This next little chapter will be another tale of me being strong, 'staying the course', but also, maybe I do need to consider a slightly bigger picture in order to see the importance of the small stuff I value that makes me happy... Oh so unclear in my expression. But I need to consider my ambition, my passion, what do I want to do, if I can chose anything, now I have my degree, etc etc...

Whirlwind

Youse all know that it's all about love.
Well. It's been a superkalafragalisticexpealadocious few days of loving, partying, eating, drinking, photographing, being spoilt, sneezing, driving, loving, and sundry goodness.
Oh my gawd, life is indeed sweet.
Massive props to my blogging compadres, 'specially KP and TT who were HOT HOT HOT and Mack Daddy and Richard who I met in the fleshhhhh for the first time. Yay.

Skillful

Friday morning. The day is here. I'm a-quiver!
Woke up early, from a dream about EJW telling me off for picking on the father of her child. Mmm.
Anyways, finished packing. Hope it weighs in under 20 kilos and they let me on with the colossal amount of carry-on I have. Anyways. Excited.

Last night I went back to Dr Park's Orthopedic Clinic to get a look at the digit and see how it's going. While I was in the waiting room with two dozen others, a nurse came over and unbandaged my finger so that while I sat there everyone could get a good look. I had to soak the last bit of gauze in saline so it would soften and then the Doc came and started cutting through the stitches. We were both AMAZED when it came off to see that the graft had worked and it's all healing very well. Ace. I can prolly have all the bandages and shit off on Monday. Wikkid. The Doc said "You are very lucky. You got a skillful surgeon." I was like, skillful my arse, HE was lucky. Heh heh. Maybe the cutie medicines also helped ::



A couple of my friends have started blogs that I'll be checking on on. One is KT, who is a nerd and a divine woman who I've known since grade 3. The other is Luis, a brilliant poet who is trekking India. He was one of the first people to give a shit about The Lament. Onya.

Thanks to everyone for your sweet emails and goodness during my whole time away but especially this week when I had this unexpected digit crisis. Thanks to Ethan, for his tribute to my shoes. Whataguy.

Oh, and I keep thinking and writing about the market near my place that was reduced to rubble. This is what it looked like yesterday::

Call Me Stumpy

Yesterday was just another day on struggle street.

That was until... I sliced my finger while chopping carrots, then it just went silly.
There was blood everywhere and I think I may have been in shock cos I just wailed for ages as the blood poured down the sink. I called a girl who lives in my building and works at my sister school. She called her boss who came and picked me up. It was a long 40 minute wait for her, and the ride in the elevator from 4th floor to first was horror-show, blood everywhere.
We got to the hospital where they asked me to go back home and collect the 'stump', previously known as the pad of my tall man finger. Whaaaa?
Did so and then came back to hospital for an xray and for a doctor to look at me seriously and say I needed an operation and 3 weeks' convalescence in hospital. Then I lost it again.
The afternoon disappeared as the school's owners appeared, much to-ing and fro-ing as everyone wondered what was best. I called JD Whatever, hoping he could get me better translations of what the hell was going on. I called Dad, knowing he's cut of the tips of his fingers and would have both advice and soothing words for me. Which of course he did.
Upon Dad's advice I decided no operation, no reattach-ie of the stump-ie was called for... Then waited an hour, watching sick babies and injured footballers come and go and wail and wince. Suddenly a doctor called me into a room and held a huge syringe in front of me... Whaaa? I screamed for JD: I don't want an operation! What's happening?! Help me! He and the owner appeared and said: It's ok, just relax, it won't take long. Whaaaa?
I got two anaesthetics near my knuckle and watched the wall while the young surgeon stitched cadaverous piece onto my finger, then attached a huge splint up to my elbow then asked me if I liked drinking and if I lived nearby.

I was really tired and upset and hungry at 7pm when I left the hospital, after 4 hours. JD got me some pinenut porridge and my boss, Sidney, came by with green tea rice cakes. Later I tried to sleep but was so upset, uncomfortable, in pain... I woke constantly.
I went to work cos it was gonna be easy, Halloween party day. The kids all looked cute and one kid had the nouse to ask if I was from Egypt. Not bad. But all those trick or treat candies couldn't keep me going and I was a mess again by lunchtime so headed home. I went to a different doctor (Dr Park's Orthopedic Clinic... Whaaaa?) and he took my splint off, told me the skin was probably 'necrosis' and please go through for an injection. Hmm. Now my bum is all bruised from the needles. Gross.
Anyways. I'm feeling pretty sorry for myself. Sidney just called to see how the doctor was this arvo and I told her the little I understood. She is worried I'm gonna do a runner and not come back from this holiday. I didn't want to lie and say that that's not crossed my mind so I told her the truth: I'm coming back from this holiday and I wouldn't leave without telling you.