Tuesday, July 28, 2015


A while since I posted a photo photo. But feel so pleased with this. Auto setting and manual focus, oh well.

It's digging and eating dirt season. I uncovered a paved area, lurking beneath the soil in the back corner. A reason for the failed acacia. So that keeps me occupied while Milla mixes up a mud tea.

Dirt crumbs. 
Signed up for 12 months at new yoga place. And half marathon training needs to start now. Eleven weeks out. Excited.

Wednesday, July 22, 2015


Seems like stars are Milla's first obsession. She can find a tiny star in the margin of a storybook. She found them on her shoes. When given a souvenir t-shirt from Vietnam, she was delighted!

On Monday at lunch Milla used the spoon to gather some pasta from her bowl and feed herself. First time.

I ran a 10k race on Sunday. A very cold morning, lots of ice on windscreen. Milla had woken at 4am and so it seemed like the morning's sleep was too disrupted and no way would I get to the race. But I did. I was fast for the first few ks. I wished I had not eaten curry for dinner. I did not doubt my pelvic floor. I ended up running a minute slower than I did in 2011, but pleased to have raced and completed.

Friday, July 17, 2015

Nearly walking

Sick days. Family gastro episodes. Hospital and doctor visits and watching the rain. Milla taking steps. So close to really walking. Saying 'star', 'duck' and 'bird'. Apparently cuddling teddies and dolls at childcare all day. Cuddling Alpi and her sheep at home, patting them affectionately and locating ears and eyes.
Picking sultanas out of snack bag after childcare.
Coming home from childcare with Old MacDonald on her lips. Swaying her heads to music or my terrible singing. Worse than usual as I'm deaf on right from blasted ear infection.
Little bits of nostalgia as old house takes centre stage in a new TV show. Mum just sold Tolmie so another place to farewell. Some furniture (maybe the piano!) to come to us.  

Monday, July 13, 2015

Being a family

Lunch today with the subdued Milla who just pushed a new tooth out. Talking with an old friend, who's a new mother. About those dark, strange, long days. They're a year behind me or near enough. And yes, many things help. A partner who makes sure you have breakfast. Days when it doesn't rain. Having a baby that is well. But confidence and true calm take a while.

Winter days.
Only after I left lunch, packed that quiet snuggly kid into the car did I realise I have actually got the hang of it. It's not a shock to realise I'm somehow disembodied, that little new, precious part of me that isn't me, dependent on me, isn't a burden or afterthought or curious scary mess. Or beautiful curiosity. At some point I got into our family life. And Milla as being a person!

I bought a painting today, perfect for our westside life.
'The Severing of Relations Between East and West'
by Sandra Eterovic

Saturday, July 11, 2015

Blue Birds and Stars

This morning while I was at yoga, Milla lead Charlie down the hall to her room, patted her mattress and in doing so, announced she was ready for her morning nap. Yep, she's a person these days. 

Eating mandarin, definitely feeling better.
A week of illness. Charlie, strangely, well. Me, a cold with hideous cough; an endless first period after weaning with long migraine; agony in the night with an ear infection that took me to the emergency room early before Milla's party. Then Milla, recovering from the cold, the cough, the ear infection, vomited and vomited all Thursday morning. Viral gastro. That terrifying moment when her third vomit was chunky and pink, Charlie put his shoes on and I started to sob before I remembered I'd given her a single blueberry an hour before.

Whole date in the mouth. Birthday jeans. 
So today she's eaten like the old Milla Gusto. She's lost weight, thinner after these weeks of illness. Looking and being like a kid. Loves her cuddly friends and tries to carry her favourite three all at once wherever she goes.

Birthday cake for days. 
Sounds like she's added 'stop' and 'don't' to her repertoire, sounding very serious and bossy. Can cuddle on command. Loves birds, especially blue birds, and stars. Played with her two new watering cans today and picked up on the game of moving the limes from one to the other. 

Wednesday, July 01, 2015

First birthday

This time last year... There's a lot of that going on.

Naff hospital pic. 
This time... I was in labour, at home, in bed, the shower, wearing the old fleece pants I'm wearing today. In a little while Charlie would decide it was time to get in the car and head to hospital.

Tiny Milla, our awesome little girl, heart beating strong, head down, ready to start.

Strange birthday day today, Milla napping now, after a long trundle around the backyard, me at a distance, her waving sticks, drumming on the BBQ and pointing, motoring, so happy. Beating the cough and lurgy and ear infection away.

As the textbooks say, unstructured outdoor play. Tick. 
Today Milla's eaten some of my favourite things, dried dates, peanut butter flat bread, fresh strawberries, cold milk, the cake spoon.

We read Each Peach and looked for the blue bird, the black cat, the little white dog, the clock and the duck.

A visit to the cafe this morning where Milla shared vegemite toast with her little friend, the Irish. These friends were wearing matching blue puffers and had plenty of grins to share around.

It really is now - the new normal. Big love and lots of smiles and silliness are the new normal. Love Milla.