Oxfam Trailwalker 2019

I'm feeling pretty much myself now. Two and a half days after finishing Oxfam Trailwalker. My first time, after a few years of aspiration, I finally did it.

One hundred kilometres walked, in twenty five hours.

It's hard to own it and figure out what made me successful. The text Charlie sent me saying 'full grit' totally resonates.

I was in pain from early on, blisters appearing on both feet. My muscles were better than I feared, quads getting achy in the final quarter. When it was cold.

We chatted. We remembered the trail. Just two small sections we'd never walked. We worried about the rain. We talked about the times. When support crew was coming. We ate heaps of sugar. We thought about Jen and how to keep her going and if she was going to make it.

I jogged up hills, it was easier on my body. I fell asleep and kept on walking. I couldn't think of anything.

I think I felt euphoric for the final 5-10km as I knew it was going to happen, I would complete.

Books at four and a half

Christmas booked devouring daily: 

• Georgia O'Keeffe
• Tintin The Black Island
• Rosie Revere chapter book
• Fantastic Mr Fox
• Reader's digest trees and shrubs (!!)

Four and a half exactly

Started to realise she's not a little kid and can differentiate judgement based on younger kid's ages, such a one and two year old cousins.
Needs interaction with peers, gets bored and frustrated by our compacted a few solid days, gets topped up and energised by playdates.
Some perfectionist tendencies.
Demonstrated shoelace tying much to our amazement. Probably has other secret skills that we don't know about.
Loves to be told stories from my childhood at bedtime.
Remembers everything. Very helpful for going shopping.
Just started on Roald Dahl after first encounter with Enormous Crocodile in Doune.
Loves loves the water and swimming.
Goes barmy when fed sugar.
Loves pink and twirling dresses.
Draws people - as of today - with wide smiling mouths.
Still with training wheels on bike.
Started rock climbing and is super enthusiastic about it.
Started whittling and sliced her thumb open but healed super fast.
Not very good at sharing with her two year old cousin.
Can play by herself on mornings when she wakes up early.

Four and a quarter

Milla at a four and a quarter.

Still runs to bed.
Had another haircut, but she wants it longer.
Is starting to enjoy maths ideas.
Has borrowed a bigger bike from a six year old friend, with a basket, still on training wheels.
Almost always will share her special thing with you.
Loves to take doll in for repeated show and tell.
Swimming lessons on Sundays and Chinese lessons Thursdays. But not regular.
Told the dentist her favourite food is broccoli. Is bragging to everyone about her upcoming trip to Scotland.
Occasionally pesters for a sibling.
Lots of new words that surprise us.
When she's really really excited or happy, her eyes start to turn up at the sides.
Getting better at the idea of practice. 

Four years old

Generous.

Perfectionist. Gets frustrated with a sub par effort.

Amazing memory.

Seems to be comfortable hanging out with different people. Adaptable. Hangs out with kinder friends and any visitors at home and seamlessly switches.

Practising the art of conversation.

Producing heaps of drawings. A week or two solid of the same thing at a time. A month of princesses. Then princesses with striped rainbow dresses. Then princesses with families. Then princesses with hair. Then princesses with castles. Castles with doors, door handles and windows. First buildings. Yellow sun up top and green grass underfoot. A flower with petals, and two leafs up its stalk.

Self portrait by Milla as a four year old. 

Scoots most days and tried to do tricks sometimes. Leans her chest on the handles and spreads out her arms like flying. Crouches down and wiggles her bum and kicks out her legs, dancing and rolling.

Her desk is always piled up with cutting, drawing, papers, textas, sticky-tape.

Friendly. Beautiful. Matter-of-fact.

46 months

The fourth birthday party has been discussed at length, over months. Maybe we should get the invites out now it's two months away.

Milla things. 

Signature word: actually. 

Adores babies. 

Eats spicy curry. 

Listens to ABC Kids radio on weekend mornings on the couch so we have a lie-in. 

Transitioned to kinder room this week. 

Had third haircut. 

Doesn't ride bike much, scoots everywhere. 

Princesses are obsession. 

Reveres engineers and medics.

First day of kinder 30 April 2018

43 months

My kid. Said today 'I'm nearly four', a new claim.

43 months and two days old. Wandiligong. 

Learning Arabic, Indonesian, more Chinese, all at once. Scooting with confidence.

Three point five

Self-portrait. Pretty Valley, 10 January 2018. 

Life at 3.5.

• Tintin is the best and she talks about going to Kathmandu. Totally understood and was compelled by the story of the Yeti.
• Rides with training wheels and riding gloves. Loves going fast. Good using her brakes. Hasn't practised scooter yet.
• Sleeps through. Sleeps great in tent.
• Mostly wet nappies, overnight, but desperately wants to rid them. Not yet.
• Lately gets sore tummy and gets upset and distracted by it. Joy when a poo comes.
• Great at remembering directions, landmarks, where to turn.
• Tells us she loves us.
• Gets a little sweaty head. We're so glad her hair got cut.
• Loves princesses and talks about magic. Occasionally puts spells on us when angry!
• Gives excellent hugs and hangs on so tight with feet and legs when carried.
• Everything has to be negotiated. She has her own ideas about how things should be.
• Started to get noticeably physically stronger.
• Doesn't deal with sugar very well. Usually sends her loopy.

Taking stock at 37

Making : Summer holiday plans over and over
Cooking : Mostly FODMAP food
Drinking : Three litres of water a day
Reading: Lots of excited 'YES!' messages after the survey results released today
Trawling: AI articles
Wanting: Simplicity
Looking: Out at all the greens in the garden as I drink my morning coffee
Deciding: On a new job
Wishing: For a wonderful fourth trimester for my new nephew
Enjoying: Milla and her character
Waiting: For the job offer to land in my inbox!
Liking: My new coconut yoghurt and peanut butter treat
Wondering: How Milla's first haircut will go tonight
Loving: Having a houseguest
Pondering: If I will actually read more books in 2018
Listening: To the tap tap tap of the keyboards around the office, including mine
Considering: My years at this workplace and all the people I have in my village here.
Buying: No Christmas presents yet, eep
Watching: Half of Jo Cinque's Consolation
Hoping: For a happy tummy
Marvelling: At how happy a new nephew makes me
Cringing: When my colleagues get their coffees in disposable cups.
Needing: A filing system for household papers.
Questioning:
Smelling: Pollen, jasmine and the warm asphalt
Wearing: Dresses most days
Noticing: New train stations being built apace
Knowing:
Trouble-shooting: Logistics, always logistics
Thinking: About writing a Christmas list
Admiring: Newly re-hung pictures
Getting: Back into morning probiotics
Bookmarking: Or more like, opening tabs and laving there all week, unread
Opening: A present from my Dad this morning
Closing: My mind to new projects here
Feeling: Queasy at the survey announcement
Dreaming: Vividly in the mornings
Hearing: Chatter
Celebrating: My own birthday!
Pretending: A little awkwardly in Milla's games
Embracing: Summer.

Inspired and loaning from Practising Simplicity and Meet me at Mike's.

Morning

Milla is my alarm. Hot day. Charlie away. She pitters down hallway. Breakfast is rice bubbles for her, cows milk and probiotics. Mine is cornflakes, coconut milk, flaxseed oil and LSA. We're up at bench, she standing on box, me on Thonet stool.

Summer dress but it's a cool morning so leggings, cardigan. Walking off to station. Panic trying to top up ticket. Making friends on train. Change at North Melbourne and tow her up ramp. Platform 1 or 3?

Make more friends on sardine express, farewells at Melbourne Central and up escalator and again and again and again. 8:25am so no clock chiming.

Through and across campus, brief stop in my office to bag drop and receive more attention, have chats. Sore legs walking up to Lygon Street, growing pains? Lots of seeds and pollen in the air. Up to childcare and warm greetings all round.

Sick day

Milla is three years old and so healthy. Thriving. Growing. Sleeps well. Most weeks we stand her in the doorway to see if she's grown. Today she said 'iPad' which was a surprise. We don't even have one. Who taught her that? Looking at the candle on the restaurant table last night at dinner, she told us the word for 'fire' in Chinese.

We were at an Indian restaurant. She was sooky and annoying and didn't eat. The staff had lots of 'mango' specials on the menu, including dessert. The owner wanted to give some but we declined on grounds that she had refused all her dinner. He told her to eat it so she could have ice-cream. She shoveled it all down. Loved the ice-cream and shared it voluntarily with all at the table, and didn't finish it all.

This morning at 4am I woke to her in the hallway, crying because she left her backpack on the train. Sweet little confused creature went back to sleep so easily with consoling.

Who's that peeping? 

Mondays are a 6am gym day for me, I'm home at 7am to a kid with a runny bottom. Panic as we both have busy workdays. Then sweet relief when I remember a set of grandparents have handily retired. Hurrah.

Three years old

Three years old and planned her party: chocolate cake, orange jelly and presents. Lego from Charlie. Much nose breathing as she concentrates. 

Bum wiggle dance going strong.

Does letters and numbers in record time.

Recognises M and W are the same, reversed, as are 6 and 9.

Schools us in Chinese, can count to ten and name colours, and sometimes say 'wash your face' in Chinese. Intonation impressive to us and we never get it right when we try to copy her.

Last night, milestone, three years and three weeks, she got up in the night to have a wee by herself, negotiating her layers of PJs and to her potty in the dark.

Can write her name with a somewhat disconnected 'a'. Draws maps and rainbows and mountains and zigzags. Says she can't draw animals or trees.

Managed to serve dessert. Tower to fridge, container of fruit, bowl and spoon from drawer, tower to bench...

Very affectionate. Insists on lots of goodbye kisses and cuddles. This week very clingy and hard to say goodbye. 

Talks about the twins in her tummy.

34 months and activities

Riding to work. Milla eating seaweed nice crackers that I buy from Aldi on my way to collect her. Can sing nonsense for fifteen minutes on the ride home. Darkness and three lights on my bike and the trailer. Home around 6pm after I hurry out of office at 4:30ish.

Discovered by accident that Milla can count to ten in Chinese.

Revisited the Mt Victoria hiking trail up Mt Donna Buang from Warburton. I blogged about it ages ago. This time I had my Garmin watch and could actually track the distance, elevation, etc properly. The sign still says 12kms / 7 hours, but it's 16kms and took us 4 hours. The path was busier than ever but aside from that, pretty much unchanged since I first walked it in 2010.

Planning a return to the winter high country adventures before the gates close.

This year of toddler

In her workshop with new drill. 

33 months and a half... A year since toilet training. A year since we stopped using a stroller. I thought of these milestones as we strutted along Elizabeth Street in the morning. Charlie's away for work, been gone only two days of 14 and each time we open the door she expects him to be there. It's a bit heartbreaking.

She thinks 'kill' is 'pew', as in the noise little boys make with their toy guns... "I pew you!". Pop gave her a real drill, a real drill! Which has occupied many happy minutes, drilling into wood, changing the bits, and eventually recharging the thing.

33 or just say nearly 3

Milla at 33 months

• Monologue stories, with great imaginative flourishes and crushingly strange realities, tales that go on and on, for thirty, forty minutes...  
• Still loves 'rabbits', a great incentive for good behaviour.  
• Moved into 'Joey' room at childcare and is SO PROUD. 
• Lots of friends - Nina the koala, sloth, ratty, Alpi, Ruby, Bun Buns. Nina was named by Milla, came free with our new mattress, is very soft and a favourite at the moment. 
• So fast and confident on balance bike. 
• Started to swing with great confidence, using her whole body. Will swing off any pol or bike rack she can find as we walk along the street.  
• So good with lego! Very patient, knows where and how to check the instructions, can find at match pieces quickly, never gets frustrated, is very methodical. 
• Started watching pop video clips, Katy Perry, Taylor Swift and the like. A big departure from her 90 rock education... 
• Very quickly trained on the 4 digit code to unlock gadget screen, was asked hours later (while scrubbing walls!) what the numbers were and she told me, very clearly and thoughtfully. 

Meanwhile, my Papa has passed away, my heart fills with gratitude that Milla met him and had meaningful time with him before he passed. I know that it's unlikely she'll recall any of it, as I don't remember my grandmother who passed when I was six months younger than Milla. 

Meanwhile also, we grew so tired of tantrums that we returned early from Easter camping in the Bogong High Plains. Great, theatrical, persistent, seemingly non-ending, tireless, tiring, boring, pointless, petty tantrums. And embarrassing.

32 months

Life barrels on with busy days and weeks at work. Milla's getting promoted to the 'Joey' room after a year in 'Platypus' where in the new year she became the most senior by a long shot. We've been riding in to the city most days - will we remember what it was like? Constant traffic diversions in the the CBD as the new metro is being built and thousands of floors of new apartments climb up and RMIT takes a new shape? Weather has been great to encourage the ride, and I've been quicker, Milla a cheerful passenger for the most part.

Easy like Sunday morning. Messing about on my bed.

Milla at thirty two months can tell people that she is two and a half and that her birthday is in July. Hasn't been getting up in the midnight morning for a walk and a drink of water. Been a reliable alarm clock around 7am.

Long beautiful hair with big ringlets at the end, threads of blonde through the brown. Still some days has wee 'accidents', much to our frustration. Still in night nappies that are usually very heavy upon waking. She wants to be out of it immediately on waking.

Tantruming just now as she wants to do typing. Sat up at computer the other evening and typed for a good long stretch, loving finding letters and delighting at seeing them appear on screen. It was a weird sight to me.

Can tell me about her day, who she played with, what she had for lunch, who was throwing sand! Who was hitting! Who did her hair.

Her Christmas bike has had the pedals and training wheels put on and we've got to get practicing more.

Milla at thirty-two months loves dancing to surf rock. Still talks about the gym and exercise with vivid energy (and imagination!).

The way she says "I do", as in, Damien Rice's song 'O' is playing and she's grooving and I ask, 'do you like this song?', "I do!".

31 months and up to FNQ

Can count perfectly to eleven and then just free forms.

Calls me by my short name, so tenderly.

She's taller and thinner. Easily alternates skipping breakfast and dinner.

When she wets her undies and we're mad she says 'are you my friend?'.

Still has a cup o milk before bed, and a nighttime nappy. Still in cot with side off. Gets up for a drink of water often around 4:45am. Is lead peacefully back to bed.

Talks a lot about school, as in, when she's bigger she'll go to school. On a bike, on two busses, on a train. In Footscray. Going to have a big orange backpack. A big 'lello' backpack.

31 months: Hot summer day and hosing the garden and shortly, herself. 

Flew up to see my Papa, maybe for the last time, for Milla's second time. She was a great little traveller, warm and cheery with Papa, slept great in our random AirBnB, and good company on outings and the mundane.

30 months and a long time in the tent

It took more than ten days for Milla to ask about home. We were on the road, camping and adventuring and there was no mention of home, Alpi or screentime. We had fourteen nights away all up, final two nights in a house but 12 nights in the tent. Longest continuous camping ever I reckon.

Cape Conran campsite pack up 31 December. 2.5 years old. 

Milla at thirty months:

• Converses! Can talk and talk. Drops words into sentences like 'different' and 'wheelchair' and 'true'... and 'actually' is how she starts many sentences!! 
• Very tender with her cousin Solomon... Says his name 'Somolon'. Gazes at his pictures and says 'ohhh he's soooo cute'. 
• Bedtime routine is milk, teeth, pjs, some books, with an episode of Peter Rabbit somewhere in there as an incentive: usually with milk, sometime also after teeth. Teeth can sometime be a battle resulting in a smacked hand by Charlie.
• Still has a nighttime nappy, that is quite wet most mornings.
• Loves to exercise! Karate, dancing, somersaults recently, lunges, push ups and jumping.
• Can open her bedroom door, and ours. Gets up and comes into our room - but at a mercifully reasonable hour. 
• Calls our bluff when we ask her where the plot is!  "Here it is!" with an imaginary thing in her hand. 
• Can spell out the letters of her name! Can write M - i - l - l - under supervision.  
• Very confident swimmer.  
• Met her paternal great-grandmother.
• Tantrums.
• Tantrums.
• Tantrums.

29 months if I count correctly

Charlie hates 'We're Going on a Bear Hunt'. Milla loves it. Chimes in to say 'dark gloomy cave!'. Charlie reluctantly read it to her and tried to elicit empathy for the maligned bear... "what do you do when someone is sad?", the reply: "stop hitting".

Summer evening post-dinner park trip. 

Milla at... twenty-nine months?! We often can't believe she's nearly 2.5 years old. Seems too clever.

Excellent sense of smell, just like me. Could sense mango tray in fridge from me open-shut of fridge door and she a few steps away.

Still loves her sleep, though can now reach her bedroom door handle and has on occasion escaped to the hallway. Once, the other night, her door possibly opened itself and I woke to a sound of somewhat panicked pitter patter along the hallway.

Can be very moody, huge irrational tantrums that can suddenly end and through hiccupy breaths she presents her self as "I'm a happy girl! I'm not crying! I was cryyyyying".

Will do anything for a twelve minute episode of 'The new adventures of Peter Rabbit' - will usually attempt to bargain for two or more.

Can tell you about her day and what she did. Entertains the masses on public transport with hilarious and often loud running commentary. Amazing memory for detail of events and places.

Initially shy around other kids, but is actually just taking the time to work them out and after fifteen minutes she's the ring leader.

29 months

Twenty-nine months and gorgeous, wilful, wonderful, frustrating. Long long hair.
Exercise routine in evenings, involving piles of couch cushions.
Corrected her own grammar.
Still likes orange.
Very matter-of-fact lectures from her.
Incentivised by an 11 minute episode of Peter Rabbit on the gadget at bedtime.
Lately heads off to bed without kisses, cuddles or being carried (not even Alpi last night!).
Loves the idea of birthdays.
Sometimes doesn't eat any dinner. At all.
Counts to eleven but skips ten.
Bragging about legs getting big and strong: "look at my muscles, Mummy!".

Back to Chorki, watching the mountains.

Spent three nights back up at Falls Creek, had company this time, a playmate for Milla, and for each of us. It was lovely, as always. Snowed on Sunday morning. Rides for everyone and a walk in the snow. Milla chatting in Charlie's ear in the Bambino carrier. I got chased by a magpie on my solo ride. Nearly clotheslined myself on the dam wall bridge as we didn't realise the gate would still be shut. Found that speccy waterhole I saw in photos. Thinking out the next visit, of course, always.