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A while since I posted a photo photo. But feel so pleased with this. Auto setting and manual focus, oh well.

It's digging and eating dirt season. I uncovered a paved area, lurking beneath the soil in the back corner. A reason for the failed acacia. So that keeps me occupied while Milla mixes up a mud tea.

Dirt crumbs. 

Signed up for 12 months at new yoga place. And half marathon training needs to start now. Eleven weeks out. Excited.

Healing and Stepping

Second shot at Bikram. The instructor managed to slip in a theme of 'healing' amongst the rigid Bikram script. At first I didn't really listen or hearing any meaning, but after a while, in the floor series, I realised that it did mean something to me. I am healing. My body is strong, healthy, but still recovering from childbirth and from daily baby-mustering and feeding. My pelvic floor and abdominal muscles still are healing. This is why I'm at yoga and not running! It was so interesting to think about a need to nurture and recover, and to turn towards healing practices.

Charlie took care of Milla while I went to the class, and when I returned she has some more floor baby play time, on her back, rolling side-to-side, then on her tummy, so close to crawling. Then we stood her up, her favourite position. Charlie had her arms lightly and she did something new: put one foot in front of the other, then again, then again. Maybe it was because she was wearing her new Superbaby singlet?

We think she's super. 

Bikram and Painting

I've been painting the shed. Not as fun as it sounds. But satisfying nonetheless. Painted Charlie's wall in between him resetting it. It's such a great time to spend in the backyard. Butterflies, nectarines appearing and everything smelling great and growing fast.

Painting progress. 

Yesterday I went back to Bikram. First time in 18 months. I did used to go to the Richmond studio semi-regularly and it felt amazing. It's not advised during pregnancy so it was a long while before I could return. And it requires logistical coordination. So Ma came and looked after Milla as I nervously headed off to the Yarraville studio yesterday morning.

I had tried to research for advice on breastfeeding and Bikram but couldn't find anything. When I arrived at the studio, though, I was informed that my milk might be a bit acidic afterwards and that my baby might notice. Also that my boobs might hurt in poses lying on my tummy, and to do a variation. I intended to take a spot at the back of the class and simply try to stay in the room for the 90 minutes.

But, it was amazing, and I felt so good throughout. But I remembered this is how it always was with Bikram. I would get nervous that it would be hard, and then it was always way more satisfying and exhilarating than I expected. I felt so energised and when I got home, started up the mower, mowed the yard, then made a frittata, and some cacao power slice. Then a dehydration headache set in and after Milla's 2:30pm feed and being put to bed, I took some Panadol Extra and had a nap for an hour. I had drunk litres of water but maybe I need to have electrolytes straight out of class.

Snow

It's not usual. In fact, it's the anniversary of bushfire up here in the Blue Mountains. But last night, it snowed. We watched from the cosy lounge, showing Milla through the window. Long, heavy, drifts that lay still the following afternoon. Beautiful and totally unexpected. The power was off all night and we lay in bed wondering what our next move was.

I headed off to a second yoga class, in Blackheath. Along the way, trees down and snowmen built. At the fitness centre, no footprints in the snow, and I sensed class wouldn't be on. Another student appeared, swiped in and offered to lead me in the class... Very generous and delightful. We had a quiet hour and then I headed back to Mt Vic.

Three weeks

Leaving it a bit late to report on three weeks. It's now four weeks since my labour started. I've now gone back to exercise, two yoga classes and two rides on the stationary bike. Body feels weak but it is so good to be back. The day I go for a run will be amazing.

Milla went to her first party, an afternoon tea in a Northcote backyard. By the time we got there it was time to feed, which I did in the car, no problem. Milla was quite content to be passed around the party. We've been wondering about what makes Milla/babies overtired as we have determined that is the cause of long crying spells. But after that party we had visitors at home and she had a good night's sleep. Yesterday however was a long quiet day with just the unit of three, and she slept long at home and long as I walked her in Ergo to Williamstown. But the evening had long tragic howls from the tiny one.

Her hair seems to be fading. We asked the nurse about her neck mark and found it's from where the stork left its mark. She hasn't slept on our room overnight for a while and we're bringing ourselves around to setting up her own room. She's been swaddled and stayed swaddled through long night sleeps, much to our surprise as she'd recently rejected all attempts and we gave up. Things do change. She feeds more efficiently it seems, quicker to attach and draws deep.

Arms up! Arms up!

Silky soft sighing breaths

Active, conscious, engaged. Yesterday Charlie and I attended a five hour workshop on preparing for active birth. The time flew, it was fascinating, inspiring and relaxing all at once. The workshop included techniques from the Thursday yoga classes that I've been trying to get to, and also included very useful discussion about how to make the most of your choice regarding hospital. We emerged feeling informed and empowered. Practice of breathing, touch and positioning. It certainly made it real that I'm in the last stages now. I need to incorporate some poses at home that will allow this little one to position favourably, as they say.

Much going on at home, Charlie paved the storage side of the shed.

Dad n Jack brought around the rain water tank that will nestle behind it. Had Pat around to photograph our fabulous bed for his portfolio.

Today my replacement starts, and I removed the personal pictures that hang by my desk. I've been bringing home a pair of shoes per day from the office collection.

Name preference: Elkie Winter
Best activity: Walking out to a warm morning
Adventure dreaming: Mount Bogong
Random worry: The classic, an emergency caesarean section
Reading: This birth story. 

XXXI and the Backyard

Heading off to yoga while the workers toil. 

Day two of the second session of backyard work. Early rain cleared by 9am to glorious sunshine. Shed, guttering, paving, planting, digging, tree removal, neighbour consulting, marble retrieval, and much mud tramped through the house.

Yoga was great though my arms and shoulders felt weak and tired. We did partner work - a massage called 'rub the love in'. Yep, pretty delicious. Then I found a blog post in my inbox about motherhood and yoga. Perfect.

Name preference: Scout?
Best activity: Planting grass
Adventure dreaming: High country cool air
Random worry: Having no muscles
Reading: The local paper at our bench