Rolling and Evenings

Yesterday Milla howled during the afternoon attempt at nap. I went in after a while and found her on all fours in her crib, facing me, tears. So, she's rolled over. Using the bars as a tool to hoist up. So, it's hard for her to rest.

Same this arvo. Charlie got her up. He's sick and tired.

Tiny nurse. 

Sometimes we dread the evening and I say I'll put Milla to bed early. We think it'll be hard with velcro kid and no relaxing and she'll be hard work and the evening will be stressful as we're tired... It always seems to be that the next hour flies by in a delicious flurry of giggles and games.

Playing with my foot. 

Second round of conjunctivitis sent us to search for a Westside GP and we weren't disappointed. A serious, gentle and no nonsense woman who told us to bathe Milla's eye with salt water. And it's better. Just like that.

Busy days and good days, despite the lurgy. I've been for lots of runs. And went to St Kilda Readings to see John Darnielle genius read for his brill book. Milla and Charlie came for the ride and hung out on the grass while I basked in the brilliance and got my book signed. Life goes on, eh.

Affection

Milla's arms around my neck. Her right hand patting my shoulder. Her open mouth on my face. Tongue on my cheek. So much affection and crazy cute natural ways to show me. I hid under her chair yesterday as I wiped up the mealtime mess and she arched and searched. When I appeared on the other side, she clung to my arm. Looked at Charlie - 'I found her!'.

Examining her foot.

7/52

Got a cold. First time I've been crook in a year or so. Might have broken the back of it today. Charlie home all snotty. Put Milla down for a nap and she howled. And howled. So I went for a run. Came back to a sleeping baby, but forty-five minutes of howling, wah.

Milla takes big bites out of the backyard tomatoes. I'm harvesting a kilo a day still.

Learning 'no' by trying to eat leaves. 

Post-swaddle life is good. Though with the naps, it's harder to get her to rest and she pushes herself up to bang her head on the top of the crib.

Swimming lessons start this week for Milla, Mum will take her and hopefully I'll get some longer runs in.

Post-Swaddle 3

"Third verse, same as the first, just last night..."

I'm tired. But the overnight unswaddle has been great. No turning back. Already thinking about Montessori-style floor beds and the next step for this kid.

Walked to the Happy River Cafe yesterday and sprawled out with Mother's Group. It was grand. Lucky to have another mother nearby who loves to walk. Six kay walk, both ways, 2 and a half hours walking.

This morning Milla said 'Mum' at me. She says lots of different sounds, including ma-ma and duh-duh all the time but this seemed to be with intent.

Milla electing not to take an afternoon nap.

Post-Swaddle 2

All good with one arm out until 2am sharp. Then two hours of howling. Pick up, rock, count backward from 100. Go to kitchen and listen to crying. Repeat. And an hour slips by. I took the other arm out. I switched the arms. I did a nappy change and mercy boob. I listened to her cry again. At 4am I heard the howls peter out and we both fell asleep. Milla woke at 930am and we began our day. 

Milla. My sweet. 

Post-Swaddle

Let's not get ahead of ourselves. But we had a very good night.

Bottle feeding.

Milla is working hard to roll herself over. She also sleeps really well. Usually she goes to bed by 9pm and wakes around 5am. Time to stop the swaddling. My plan was to have a few days of all naps with no swaddle before trying overnight. But the opportunity with Charlie being away was too good.

Yesterday Milla slept for two hours in the stroller as I pounded the westside pavement picking up local honey and beautifully pressed second hand clothes. It was 30 degrees but felt cooler. It was glorious. Hard work walking. Found the Vernon Street shops for the first time.

After lunch Milla declined to nap. I tried. She screamed. I tried. She got up and was cute. Ach.

Bedtime came a little early. Strangely I was exhausted. I left one arm out of her sleep bag. Nervously sat and waited for her to fright. Nope. Woke up at 5am for a feed. I put her back to bed in a new sleep sack with both arms out. Slept for two hours. Winning. Then she got up and ate vegemite toast. And gulped down her peach and fig porridge.

6/52

Back up to Tolmie this weekend. Much better than our first trip. Milla woke each night but I put it down to cold. So back on Gumtree to look for merino clothes! 

Watching her hands. 

I drove up Friday evening with girlfriend. We had a lovely long stop in Yea and then Milla screamed all the way to Tolmie. Horrible but we two sang and chatted and it didn't feel to angsty. 

Saturday was spent at the Tolmie Sports Day watching the woodchop, three legged races and dog jump. I went for a 4k run each day. Brilliant. 

Drive home Sunday following Produce Store visit was entirely different to Friday. Milla slept the whole way to Melbourne. So. We still can't travel in evenings. 

Home with a week ahead of no Charlie, travelling for work. I'm going to try to break the swaddle. Less at risk if we don't need to preserve his sleep for work. Wish me luck. 

Fail

Camping. Fail.

Thankfully the drama is receding, but Milla and I had a camping fail.

A trip with a group of friends to camp at Warburton on the Yarra. We did it last year when I was pregnant and rode not quite all the way up Donna Buang. This time the dates changed and Charlie couldn't come as he was booked into a mountain biking workshop for the weekend. That's ok! Milla and I will still go! The friends who we camp with are baby-lovers and will help me with Milla. We've always had good times camping!

Happy baby at camp.

But no. Milla couldn't nap at the campground. It was noisy, and too hot in the tent. So I took her in the stroller and she snatched 2 x 45 minute stroller naps. Bedtime was ok, she fell asleep on me in the socialising marquee, I took her to the tent to nurse her a little more then put her down. It was a bit slow but ok. A bit later, I slid in next to her. She in her crib, me on the thermarest beside. I woke to her noises, of course, which we don't usually hear. She wakes, cries out without waking, goes back to rest.

Then at 2:20m she really woke. Nurse, nappy change, nurse, nappy fail, bedding wet, nappy from the car, nurse, wants to play, grizzle. I am totally panicked. It's so clear and beautiful outside. I text my friend, sleeping nearby in her van with her baby. She comes and holds Milla while I get dressed and grab gear from the tent. We get in the car and abandon camp. Tent still up. It's 3:35am and I'm driving 84km back to home.

5/52

Blue suits you like me. Yesterday you tried sipping through a straw for the first time. You were a quick learner. You also learnt to drum, following your father's instruction. We had a great day, swimming in the pool, you kicked and kicked and followed the bubbles, fighting the urge to drink the water. I ran three 3kms along the Darebin Creek. You ate almost a whole kiwi and seemed to hate every mouthful... Why did you keep coming back for more? Right now you've been asleep for 18 minutes with your arms out. Sun is shining and we're having a quiet day.

Figs are a new friend. Pre-loved and much loved dress. 

Maybe girls camping tomorrow, weather's hot, water keeps beckoning. Charlie is riding all weekend at You Yangs. Can I do it solo?

Seven Months

Milla at seven months.

Wild Child

Milla. Tries to peak at the next page of the book. Giggles hysterically at Charlie's peak-a-boo. Can glug from her sipper cup: loves loves loves drinking water. Sits. Tries to crawl. Is still swaddled, though I'm trying to break it. Feeds from the boob so well. Chats "ne ne ne ne" and "da da da da". Can sit outside by herself for ages and watch ants and butterflies and listen to motorcycles. Occasionally will fall asleep in our arms, particularly in the evening when Charlie watches mountain biking vids on YouTube...  Can feed herself toast fingers and big chunks of dried fruit. Always loves yoghurt. Is amazed by clapping, baffled by my dancing. Wants to play with the back door chain. Very strong tummy muscles and will stay in a v-sit-up for ages. Cries getting nappy changed when tired.

Love love love this kid.

4/52 aka snot

There was a little girl.

Mopey baby with a cold out visiting. 

Now my friends' babies are coming, I am reminded how quickly memories fade. How did we get Milla to sleep in her room? When did breastfeeding stop hurting?

This week Milla had her first cold. I think she's just over it now. It was lots of snot, so noisy feeding and gasping for a break when eating, and a bit of sooky moping.

Backyard tomatoes a-go-go. Been for six runs. Four months now til I'm back at work. Life goes on.

Settling

Milla has been more and more gorgeous this week. Eating well, waking happy, sleeping solidly. I took her to the beach two days in a row and she pretty much hated it. Then yesterday she smacked her forehead and developed a snotty nose. Two firsts. Went to bed ok, usual time, gorgeous baby. Woke 45 minutes later howling. It took me 45 minutes to settle her, during which I found the beginnings of her second tooth poking through. Ah.

Settling. We resolved no breastfeed, that's fine. And better to not pick her up, rather to pat. Last night the snotty nose was rasping and snuffling. I offered cool water and she became even more upset. I picked her up. No respite. I put her down, went back to our bed. Just like that twenty minutes had passed. I went back, took her out of bed and into the cool backyard. She was alert and beautiful. Into Ballroom, refused more sips of water (a first), read her 'Lost and Found'. Back to cot. Howling. Back to my bed. Howling. Forty minutes have passed. Go back, switch light on, pick her up. Cuddles, I count backwards from 100, saying "hey-hey".

Sleep. Seven or so hours later, Charlie's alarm gets him up and making coffee. Milla wakes.

Williamstown Beach at 5pm on a windy Friday.

Routines and meals

Well it must be three weeks of the new routine, one dropped breastfeed and a big move towards food. Yesterday I almost forgot to include a breastfeed at lunch, so I think that will be the next to go. Physically, it's not been too tricky for me to do the 9-hours overnight and then 6-hours from sleepy feed to lunchtime.

Milla suddenly started eating a whole lot more food, I go scrambling in the fridge as she finishes apple porridge, then avocado, then yoghurt. Loves yoghurt. She's now had two Charlie-cooked meals with meat: chicken and peach, lamb and carrot. Meat takes her wayyyy longer to eat, she uses those gums to chew chew chew.

Hot and thirsty work, eating baby bolognese. 

Growing lots of hair. Can recognise me in a photo in the hallway. Pulls back the blanket in the backyard to grab handfuls of grass. Can hold a v-situp for ages. Getting very good at stepping. I'm going to miss the breastfeeding cuddle.

3/52

Looks like the face of a little person, not a baby. Love the curiosity, the gusto, the intent. Love this kid.

Milla at six-and-a-half months, mountain top camping.

After morning nap, tent filters light warm. Unzipped sleeping bag, merino vest, those eyes.

Mount Stirling and a Run

Back to Stirling, camped just below summit this time. We had more than just our little tent. Three big cars and six people! Brilliant sunrise Sunday morning that Milla woke us for.

Summit baby. Milla at six-and-a-half months.

We've said that becoming parents has made us more organised. But Charlie was already a logistics supremo. This time he really outshone. On Friday he drove up to Stirling base by himself, Milla and I stayed home and I got in a few hours of essay work in the even and early morning. Charlie spent Saturday riding the trails at Buller in preparation for March competing. Then grandparents collected girls and we headed to join. Went straight to top of Buller and found Charlie Plus One all sweaty and dusty there.

Good times. We borrowed a Phil & Teds travel cot from a generous Mother's Group mother and squeeeezed it into our tent - just. It would fit fine if the tent was just for Milla. Anyhoo, it's the best we've come up with so I bought one on eBay immediately. It seems so much better than bigger travel cots, more flexible as it can be a totally contained mozzie-proof standalone baby cage.

Tent baby. 

Milla was a total chatterbox all eve Saturday. It was quite cute. On Sunday she said 'blah blah blah' which is Charlie's fault as he says that to her all! the! time! She's been saying 'da da da dadah' a lot too.

High country view from Stirling treeline. 

Back home Sunday night and Monday saw my long-awaited running comeback. Yeah! My last run was in May, two kilometres, down to the water and back. This time I ran one kilometre, felt amazing and am totally psyched.

2/52

Some ups and down. Immunisations on Tuesday for Milla's six-month milestone. We had the Panadol box (new, unopened from last immunisations), at the ready as she howled and howled at bedtime. Forty-five minutes.

A couple of good days and a couple of days refusing to nap and being overtired and a bit unfun. She still sleeps all through the night, though has woken at 4am a couple of times. I've given her a bonus feed.

Second photo.

Watching the rain.

Linking up with the 52 Project.

New baby

I held a new baby yesterday. Just 30 hours old and so tiny. Perfect and amazing. It feels so different to witness a friend become a mother, now that I am one. My thumper of a daughter looked enormous next to the tiny precious new creature.  

I also realised how unwell I was after giving birth! Seeing my friend sitting up, chipper and happy, taking visitors, texting and posing for photos, I realised she was simply well. Not superwoman, just well. Whereas I was in hospital for four nights and couldn't dream of having visitors. I didn't talk on the phone or leave the room.

I feel like a had a perfect birth, I was happy and felt strong, loved and supported. But losing lots of blood after, and having surgery, really took its toll. I could see it on my friend's face - a complete inversion of mine!

Oh, and here's Thumper, in a party dress, at her Pop's.

Milla at 6 months. 

1/52

A little discipline. A little dedication. I'm going to do a portrait a week of Milla. Not off to a great start as Week One slipped by already. The photo for this week was not taken with the nice camera, doh, but the stupid phone.

A friend's family beach house, a day and night and adwenture without Charlie. Milla's first dip in the ocean. 

Hot baby taking a bucket bath in the shade at Somers. 

Linking up with the 52 Project. 

A Tooth

A tiny serration. If I can get my finger in, I can feel it, just as she thrusts and squirms. It wasn't there a day ago, I swear. This makes sense. Her first tooth.

Junior toddler. There's a tooth in that grin, somewhere. 

Crying and Crawling

Hard night. Milla took two short naps during the day, one in the stroller. And then at bedtime, howled when I put her down. Howled. Hysterically. Panting and screeching with out-of-control upset. We had agreed she wouldn't get a boob. We consulted Baby Love and read about... 'controlled crying' and the method of returning to Milla with reassurance and then leaving again. I got up three times. I sat her up and she took big gulps of cold water from her sip cup. She was wet with sweat from the exertion of crying. Ninety minutes. We all fell asleep. Slept in.

Clean baby, after her bath. 

Started a new routine based on the changes to her feeding and sleeping. Dropping one boob feed. No sleep ins. More water, more solids. So the idea is to start each day around 6am with a quiet feed in her room, returning Milla to bed immediately. Then a solid grown up breakfast at 10am. A lunch of real food and boob at 1pm, and her usual dinner extravaganza at 5pm with boob, solids and a half formula bottle. She tried yoghurt today for the first time - first dairy food.

A few of my favourite things.

While I was out riding yesterday, Charlie witnessed the first crawling forward motion! Eep!